


Don't Let Go Of Me

by MusicLover6661



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, No Spoilers, and i'm still fucked up, i saw this after Infinity War, so this was hard as fuck to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 02:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14462718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicLover6661/pseuds/MusicLover6661
Summary: The tension was thick, Steve’s back tense as he glanced over his shoulder to where I stood before leaving himself.  Well that was a nice way of saying goodnight.





	1. Chapter 1

Cold, everything around me was cold. I couldn't pick one thing other than the cold. It was blinding, as if I was blindfolded. Wait. I am blindfolded. Why did I need to lose another sense? Wasn't the crippling ice enough? I can hear a few voices from outside, they're trying to break the door down, but it's no use. If only I could slip back into the unconsciousness and forget all of this happened. Shit, I would take anything just to fall back asleep. That is, until the door was kicked open. Three pairs of feet ran into the room, was I going to be murdered? Well it'd be better than laying on an ice block, that's for sure.

“Guys! We have a hostage!” One of the voices sounded so familiar, who could it be?  
“Shit, I didn't think they'd gotten to her” That voice belonged to a woman, her voice was soft.  
“I'm gonna need you to stay calm, this is about to get loud” Loud? What the hell?

The sounds of metal scraping together alerted me instantly, so that's why he told me to stay calm. Were they breaking me out of wherever I was? I was thrown over someone's shoulder before they were suddenly running out of the building. I could still feel the pain of each needle piercing my skin, the rain splashing against my skin felt like little razors. Was it due to the ice I was just in? Or was it due to how cold it was outside as well?

“Lay her on the table, we need to see how much HYDRA affected her” The third was deep, frankly it was a little intimidating. I was too afraid to open my eyes though.

The table I was laid onto was even colder, it bit at my skin harshly. Before I could utter another word my world was black once again.

The lights above my head are too bright, this wasn't the same room as before. Though I was definitely too afraid to open my eyes now. Was I in heaven? Did I end up dying when those people found me? God at this point I was hoping for death. Every muscle in my body hurt, my head throbbed painfully.

“Welcome back to the world” The voice was soft, definitely a woman.  
“Where am I?” My voice was rough, cracking painfully so.  
“You're at the Avengers compound, they brought you here after they rescued you from the HYDRA base. They were very lucky to find you when they did” The doctor stepped closer to the bed and gestured towards my body with her pen.

I bit my lip and looked down at my body, gasping in horror. I was used to the scars on my skin, but this? Bruises covered almost every inch of my skin, the scars on my legs were gone though. How was that even possible? Those were some of the deepest scars I had, they had taken years to even truly heal. Okay, that may have been my own fault for refusing to ever rest. It wasn't as if I planned on getting caught by HYDRA, they just also happened to be there.

“I was trying to hack the base, there must've been someone I missed” Her shoulders stiffened as I whispered. The room was quiet enough to even hear the flutter of a butterfly's wings.  
“Do you remember anything after that?” She picked up a small device and began to type, at least that's what it looked like.  
“It was very cold, like I was stuck out in a blizzard in a tanktop and shorts” I couldn't forget the burning sensation the cold left on my skin.  
“Do you know what year it is?” I furrowed my brow at that, what was she getting at?  
“Yeah, it's 1992” The room became eerily silent as two people walked inside, one's footsteps were louder than the other.  
“Miss, it's 2018” What? She was lying!  
“No, that's a lie” My eyes welled up, twenty-six years I couldn't remember, what did that mean for me?  
“Y/N, we've been trying to find you for the last four years, you're what we call a sleeper agent. HYDRA used you for their own personal gain, and it seems as if they succeeded” A sleeper agent? What the hell was he talking about? God my head hurt so bad.

I was allowed to sit up, but I wasn't going to be able to leave the room I was in for a while. Not until I was cleared by not one, but three psychiatrists. They really had it out for me, that's for sure. This was going to be a long ride.

6 Months Later

It was a lot harder to remember anything from my past, to when I was still a young kid even. Everything was a blur from before I was found by Steve, or as a lot of people called him, Captain. They were worried I was going to snap and hurt people, but when they noticed I had no recollection of anything they seemed less unsure. So I was to train with Steve and Nat. They were intimidating, Steve with his height and build and Nat with her skills. She could take me out in a matter of seconds and I wouldn't even know what hit me. Though to be fair, it wouldn't be a bad way to go.

“I gotta admit, you've done a lot better as of late” Nat helped me up from the pat and patted my arm gently, a smile gracing her lips.  
“I'm learning from the best” I smiled at her and let my eyes drift over to Steve who was trying to nonchalantly scratch at his chin. I knew he was listening, it's what super soldiers did.  
“Damn right you are, but we're done for today” She grabbed onto Steve's forearm and pulled him out of the gym. Damnit.

I was about to pick up my shirt I had discarded when the sound of feet shuffling against the floor almost caught me off guard. Rearing my arm back I blocked their attack, a metal arm swung around my side and gripped onto the thin tanktop I wore roughly. Growling deep within my chest I gripped onto the arm and flipped them down onto the mat, effectively pinning them down. Why did I recognize his face? The anger in his eyes?

“Who the hell are you?” I pressed my forearm against his throat and clenched my teeth together.  
“I'm going to be the one who gets rid of you” He huffed trying to get free. I narrowed my eyes and pinned his arms down harder, the metal of his left arm dug into my leg harshly.  
“You're the one who attacked me in Berlin, aren't you?” My mind was whirling as I thought back to that fateful night, he had almost been successful in killing me. Almost.  
“I was under strict orders, too bad you slipped out through the basement” My jaw dropped open, no one knew about that passageway except for me.  
“Why didn't you follow me? Orders are orders after all” I smirked as he glared up at me.  
“Passage was too small, I'd of gotten stuck” Memories washed over me like a tidal wave, a painful one at that.  
“Winter Soldier” I whispered as I stood up and away from him. Instinctively reaching for the knife I kept on my leg, except it wasn't there. Of course.  
“Be careful, don't wanna piss off the only other person who knows what you've been through” He smirked and pushed himself up into a sitting position.  
“Too late” I grabbed my shirt once again and headed to the elevator, I needed to get away from him.

The compound was quiet as I made my way back to my bedroom, how was I supposed to know that the Winter Soldier was going to be here? It's not like anyone told me anything! I was supposed to integrate myself slowly, and look how that was going. Pushing the door open I was met with quite a sight, Steve was propped up against the headboard on my bed. 

“What do I owe the pleasure?” I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow, to be fair he looked gorgeous in nothing but a pair of shorts.  
“I needed to talk to you about Bucky” Oh, was that his actual name? What a weird name.  
“I met him in the gym, nice fellow” The bruise on my side was stinging still, only slightly.  
“He's very guarded, just try not to piss him off please” I knew what Steve was saying, don't act like myself too much.  
“He tried to attack me, said he was going to take me down” I trailed off as I caught Steve's expression, his jaw dropped open in shock.  
“He said what?!” Not the reaction I was going for.  
“He knows who I am, or who I was at least” It sounded crazy, this man knew more about me than I knew.  
“That's something we wanted to work on, help get your memories back. The positive ones at least” Steve pushed himself off the bed and strode over to me quickly. My breath caught in my throat.  
“Let's hope we can” I knew there were going to be things I didn't want to remember, but not remembering anything was taking it's toll on me.

Steve left with a quick goodbye, heading down to meet with Bucky and go over anything he may have missed. All I needed in this moment was a good shower and a heaping pile of food, maybe I could order take out. Enjoy an entire pizza all to myself.

It was almost one am by the time I had caught up on everything I had missed in the last twenty-six years. The music wasn't that terrible, though it wasn't my favorite things. TV shows were much more violent, the hidden adult jokes were easier to come by. And movies, god they got away with so much nowadays! I decided to snoop a little and do some research on Bucky and Steve. I was shocked to see that they were each more dynamic than I expected. Having been in the war back in the 40's, and then to be captured and tortured for so long. Steve had been frozen for so long, I was sure waking up for him was a lot worse for him than me.

“Y'know, it's not nice to sneak up on someone when they're trying to eat” I glanced over my shoulder and caught sight of Nat, who was in fact trying to sneak into the kitchen.  
“I didn't think you'd still be awake” She gave up her sneaking and turned her direction so she was walking over to the kitchen table.  
“Couldn't sleep, too much on my mind” Nightmares were a bitch, especially when you didn't realize why you were having them.  
“How was meeting Buck?” She pulled out a chair and sat across from me, her gaze never wavering.  
“Interesting to say the least, didn't think he'd wanna kill me so fast” I smirked and took another bite of pizza.  
“He's used to being attacked, I think you being associated with HYDRA sparked something inside him” Oh if you only knew.  
“He knows who I am, he actually tried to kill me before. It was back in probably 2003” How I could remember the date I wasn't entirely sure. It had to do with Bucky being around though.

Nat's jaw has dropped open, and if she didn't close it any time soon a fly would surely fly in. I couldn't help but giggle as she continued to gawk at me. Wasn't everyday someone said they were almost murdered by the Winter Soldier and survived was it? I pushed the pizza box over to her and raised a brow. She took a slice and began to chew slowly.

“How in the hell did you get away? That man is a goddamn beast” Nat muttered before taking another bite.  
“Passageway in the basement, it was just big enough where I could squeeze through, but with his size he wouldn't be able to without getting stuck” I finished my third slice and laughed as Nat shook her head in shock.  
“That's insane, he didn't try and find where you'd come out to get you there?” Nat always figured out every option before making any kind of choice.  
“That's the thing, it was a good six miles before I even made it out, so even if he wanted to find me he couldn't” The memories were flooding back, the fear taking over every sense in my body.  
“That's insane” She set down her slice and pushed herself and away from the table.  
“That's what I said” I smiled and sat back with a content sigh. Maybe I'd be able to finally sleep tonight.

Nat and I each bid a goodnight before heading down to our own bedrooms. The hallway was quiet as I walked to my room. The only sound coming from the wind outside. Until there was a different sound, someone's breathing. It would be too soft for the average person to hear, but when you've been enhanced, well you learn a lot more.

“I can hear you” I stopped just a few feet from my door, the person stopped breathing for a second before stepping out of the shadows.  
“Sorry, I was heading down to the bathroom and I didn't think you'd still be awake” Even though Steve's face was covered by darkness, I could see the faintest hint of pink on his cheeks.  
“There's a bathroom connected to everyone's room, so what's the real reason?” I smirked at Steve's shocked expression, I could see through his lie so easily.  
“I was looking for you, but you weren't in your room” Steve walked closer slowly, testing the waters between us.  
“I was in the kitchen eating, I couldn't sleep” I was sure Nat would've told him everything if I hadn't of run into him.

He opened his mouth before closing it quickly. His brows furrowed as he struggled to find the right words.

“I was in the common room, you could've come down” It was my turn to be shocked, so Captain America wanted me to spend some time around him?  
“I didn't realize you were awake, I made a beeline for the kitchen once I woke up” The words felt weighted, he didn't need to hear all of my problems.

Steve's eyes were soft, if I had known any better I'd say he felt sorry for me. As if.

“Well it's getting late, are you heading back to your room?” He shifted as if he was heading to his own room. I finally noticed the state of his undress. He was wearing nothing except for a pair of gym shorts. Was this man trying to murder me without physically touching me?  
“I was going to try and get some sleep” The pale moonlight cascaded over his body in the most delicious way. Keep it in your pants Y/N!  
“If you can't sleep, my rooms on the fifth floor” Steve turned and left without another word. It was safe to saw my jaw was dropped open. 

Did that really happen? Captain America invited me to his room. Hell I was tempted to go there just to see him, lie and say I wasn't able to fall asleep after all. I knew better than to do that though, he'd be able to see through my lie with absolute finesse. He was trained for shit like that, and me? I was trained to do things that I couldn't remember and it bothered me. Bucky knew though, but how? Maybe I could ask him some questions, get more answers than I had now. Even if that was slim to none.

 

The compound was very complex. Tony kept some rooms locked away from Bucky and I, what was he hiding? I mean it wasn't everyday you saw three super soldiers under the same roof. Let alone three that weren't actively trying to kill one another. From what I gathered Bucky and Steve were close friends, having been separated due to HYDRA. Bruce told me I was similar to Bucky, being that he was also a sleeper agent. Except he was brought out a little more often than I was. Steve had found him when he tried to murder him. The more I was told, the worse I felt around everyone. Bucky and I were the same, murdering people without knowing what was going on.

“It's insane, you should have tremendous amounts of damaged tissue” Bruce was looking over my chart, again. The man was fascinated by super soldiers.  
“It's the serum they use, used it on Steve, then Bucky, and myself” I scratched at my arm and looked away from Bruce's gaze. To say he was shocked would be an understatement.  
“Bruce, leave the poor girl alone” Tony was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

Bruce rolled his eyes and went back to the tablet in his hands. Of course I wanted answers for anything, but I was always coming up with questions instead. And trying to ask Bucky was like pulling teeth. He absolutely refused to open up, he would see me approach and leave without another word. So, I did the next best thing. I went to Steve.

“I don't know how any of this works, I feel like a freak” I kept my eyes locked onto my hands, if anyone would help me, it'd be Steve.  
“It's like your body is changing constantly, your cells regenerate faster than they can form basically. Any cut, or wound will heal faster than the average person. We're stronger than anyone in the world, and faster too” Steve chuckled and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh.  
“It still makes me feel like a freak, like I shouldn't have all this” I gestured with my hands towards my body. Steve simply nodded.  
“It's a lot to take in, I had years to help kind of figure myself out. Now though, it's different. I'm not the same man I was seventy years ago” I looked up at Steve, my brows furrowing.  
“From what I saw, you were there little puppet. Sure you helped in the war, but with everything else that happened. I can't even imagine going through something like that” I blushed and pulled my hands down into my lap.

Steve was quiet, his gaze on the stars outside. It was as if he was trying to find an answer to any of his own questions. I took in the contours of his face in the pale light, the way his beard covered every inch of his jaw and cheeks, stopping just under his cheekbones. His plush lips that parted with each breath he took in. And that was just from the neck up, the rest of his body looked as if he was sculpted from marble. A god in our society. Women were fawning over him, practically throwing themselves at him every chance they got. But they didn't want the gentleman from the 40's. They wanted the muscular man he was. They only wanted him for a night, and then nothing more.

“Thinking hard over there?” Steve's voice was quiet, as if he was afraid he'd startle me.  
“Only a little bit” I smiled and walked closer to where he was. I could feel his body heat radiating from his skin.  
“It's calm at night, makes me wish things could be normal for just a day” Steve frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.  
“I looked up my parents” Steve's eyes widened slightly, he didn't make any move though.  
“How'd that go?” He was looking at me from the corner of his eye now, I was tempted to smirk at him.  
“Passed away last year, they never stopped searching for me” I smiled softly and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

Tony had warned me that I wasn't going to be happy looking up any of my relatives. It wasn't easy seeing their deaths. I was so close, and so far away at the same time. If they only knew that I was still alive.

“I'm sure they would've loved you” Steve wrapped an arm around my shoulders, it was comforting.  
“Besides the whole assassin thing, they definitely would've loved me” I couldn't help but giggle, resting my head against Steve's shoulder.  
“Even with the assassin thing, parents are supportive no matter what” The tips of his fingers began to draw small circles on my shoulder. If I had been laying down, I would've fallen asleep for sure.  
“I'm sure they're happily watching over me knowing I'm somewhere safe now” Reaching up slowly I placed my hand overtop of his. His fingers stopped for a moment, before continuing the circles.

There was a comfortable silence that hung in the air, no need for words or conversation. If anyone were to walk in, they wouldn't see two friends spending time together, they'd see something more. It reminded me of the day during our workout session. The day Bucky tried to fucking kill me. Steve was nervous about something, but he refused to say anything. Had there been something on his mind? Or was it because Nat was on his ass for slacking?

“I was the one who found you” Steve's voice cracked at the end of the sentence.  
“At the base?” Steve simply nodded, his lips pulled into a thin line.  
“We were about to leave when suddenly you showed up on the radar, your heart rate was slowing and we were afraid they had a hostage. And when we found you, Buck was freaking out” Steve chuckled and shook his head, his eyes closing for a moment.  
“Technically I was, I still struggle trying to remember who I was before that day. Bucky doesn't seem to want to help me” I winced at how Bucky had nearly broken my arm during our workout in the morning. He didn't like being beaten by a girl.  
“He doesn't want you to struggle with everything like he does, he can still remember everything he did” Steve's words were clipped, his eyes darkening at the thought of his friend being in any pain.

Squeezing his hand gently, I frowned. No one in the compound knew of the nightmares that terrorized me some nights. I was afraid of how anyone would react. They were terrifying, crippling almost. Some would fee so real, as if I was back in that day.

“Steve” Natasha's voice echoed into the room, Steve and I jumping apart, our faces flushed.  
“Hey, didn't realize you were awake” Steve tried to hide the blush that was creeping onto his cheeks by leaning against the window.  
“FRIDAY said you were down here, just needed to make sure you were alright before the mission tomorrow” Nat raised an eyebrow at both of us, the faintest hint of a smirk on her lips.  
“Oh, I almost forgot about that” Steve wiped his hands off on his shirt and walked over to Nat, before muttering something to her. She simply nodded and left the room.

The tension was thick, Steve's back tense as he glanced over his shoulder to where I stood before leaving himself. Well that was a nice way of saying goodnight.

\--  
They were gone for almost three weeks. Absolute radio silence from everyone, until suddenly one day they're saying that they're coming home. Tony was glad to hear good news, albeit a little late. But good news nonetheless. Five pairs of feet walked into the compound. Steve, and Bucky were the last ones to drop off their bags before heading to their respective rooms. I knew I wanted to talk to Steve, there were unfinished words I had for that man. And none of them nice.

“Miss Y/L/N, Steve would like you to accompany him in his room” FRIDAY's voice called overhead, I simply nodded and headed to where Steve had told me his room was.

Standing outside of the door felt more daunting than I was hoping for. What if he was just going to tell me I needed to stay away? That I was only going to get myself hurt if I tried to get close to him?

“Come in” Steve's voice was muffled from the door, he knew I was coming though.  
“You asked for me Captain?” I pushed open the door and felt my cheeks burn with a deep blush. He had stripped down from his suit, save for his pants.  
“I needed to talk to you, about some things” Steve walked over to his closet and pulled out some clothes, his gaze turning back onto me.  
“I'm all ears” I walked over to his desk and sat down in the chair, if I was going to speak to Steve while he was half naked, I was doing it on my own terms.  
“About that night, when you told me about your parents, how I told you the reason Bucky is trying to hide things from you. There was something you wanted to tell me, wasn't there?” So maybe Steve was more perceptive than I gave him credit for.  
“I've been having nightmares, most nights lately” It was hard telling him the truth, having him hear that I was suffering in the same way as his friend.  
“I wanted to see if I could help with them” That caught me off guard, Steve wanted to help me? How was he supposed to do that exactly?  
“How? No one knows when I'm having them” My cheeks blushed darker as Steve pushed his pants off, leaving him on nothing but his boxers.  
“When you have a nightmare, come to my room” Steve pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt before setting his gaze back on me.

He was joking. No, he was insane. There was no way in hell I was going to find Steve after I had a nightmare, it just sounded crazy! He was busy going on missions, he didn't need to lose any sleep because my brain didn't work correctly. I wasn't just going to crawl into bed with a man whose been plaguing my every waking thought-.

“It'll help them go away, just try” Steve had walked over to where I sat, his hand resting against my shoulder.  
“Next time I have one, I'll come” I was risking a lot in this situation, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for any of it.  
“Do you actually mean that? Or are you just as stubborn as Buck is?” He was smiling, no the asshole was smirking. Goddamnit, you're not helping my case here Steve.  
“You don't need to worry about me Steve, I'm a big girl” I chuckled softly and looked up at him slowly.  
“I'm gonna worry when one of my friends is struggling” His smile faltered, turning into a light frown.  
“Steve, I'm fine, really” He was so close, so close and still so far away.

I wanted to tell him how I felt, to show him that I wanted more than just a friendship. But that wasn't easy with someone who was still learning how to live today. He was more worried about the people around him than he was himself. Losing his best friend to HYDRA, being unconscious for sixty years. God, he needed someone for himself, I didn't need anybody.

“You have the same look Buck did this morning, are you guys talking telepathically or something?” Steve caught me off guard as he crouched down, his face much closer than I was hoping for.  
“We're not that special Rogers” I laughed and looked at him. There was apprehension in his eyes, what was he nervous about?  
“We're super soldiers, in case you've forgotten” The word rolled off his tongue with ease, my eyes flickered from his mouth and back to his eyes.  
“I haven't, but no we're not communicating telepathically” As if without warning our bodies each began to move closer to one another.

We were mere inches from one another, his warm breath washed over my face once, twice.

Knock, Knock! 

Steve and I jumped apart before the door opened revealing Bucky who in lack of a better word, looked like absolute shit.

“Tony wants everyone in the conference room” He looked between Steve and I a few times before walking off without another word. That was more awkward than I was hoping for.  
“Was the mission that bad?” My voice was breathy as I stared at where Bucky once stood.  
“It was hard, we ran into more people that remembered Buck and he just snapped. That's why we had to lay low for a little while, he was afraid he'd hurt someone if we came back home” All I wanted to do in that moment was find Bucky and hold him. There was so much to these people that I didn't know.  
“Let's head down so Tony doesn't think we're avoiding everyone” Steve only nodded. 

The meeting was about the mission, apparently Tony had been able to find out why they were gone so long. To say he was pissed off would be an understatement. The man was livid. He was all but screaming at Steve and Bucky for being irresponsible.

“You heard him yourself Tony, they were afraid Bucky would hurt himself or someone else, so frankly I think he made the best choice in this case” Tony's glare was now dead set on me, Steve looked ready to jump between us in case of a fight.  
“It shouldn't of even happened! The mission was one of the easiest ones they've been on” Tony's face was red with anger, the veins in his neck bulging.  
“But it did! And they took precautions to keep everyone safe! Now if you'd take your head out of your ass long enough to realize you're being a prick, maybe we can all move on with our day and relax” My heart was pounding harshly in my chest, I just yelled at the man who was housing me. 

Everyone was silent, gazes changing from my face to Tony's. No one made a move to stand, to usher Tony out of the room before he hurt himself, or me in this case. Steve stood up, grabbing my arm roughly and dragging me out of the room. I didn't come too until we were back in his room. The door locked behind us.

“He's gonna throw me out, Steve I can't live on the street” My eyes welled up with tears as I gripped onto his forearms.  
“He's not going to throw you out Y/N, he'd be insane to let loose a super soldier. I do have to say I'm impressed you stood up to him” Steve wrapped his hands around my forearms and gently squeezed.  
“I was just so angry, he was upset that you guys kept Bucky away because he was afraid he'd kill someone here! How can he even do that?” The tears slipped down my cheeks slowly, Steve's arms wrapping around me tightly. Did he always smell this good?  
“He's used to being in control, and he didn't get that while we were gone” Steve rubbed his hands along my back slowly, nervously.

I frowned and rubbed my face into his chest, his embrace helped comfort me. Steve walked over to his bed and laid down, pulling me with him. To say the position was very awkward would be true, if it weren't for the fact that I was lying on top of Steve. I scooted off his chest and laid down next to him, wrapping my arms around him. This felt better, like we fit together perfectly.

“Don't let go of me, please” I was ready to latch onto him if need be.  
“I won't, I promise” He kissed my forehead gently before relaxing into the bed. Yawning loudly, his arms tightening ever so slightly around my waist.  
“Thank you” I looked up at him and reached up to kiss his cheek.

Steve turned in the right moment, our lips pressing flush together. Before I could panic and pull away his grip tightened even more. His lips moving frantically with my own. I reached my hands up and gripped his hair, his body over laying my own. Every inch of his body pressed against mine, our heartbeats mingling together as we kissed. As we both pulled away from the kiss, our eyes locking on one another we realized one thing. There was more to each of us, than the other knew.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I glanced over to Bucky to see if he noticed a change, his expression was darker. Hate was burning in his eyes as he looked over at me. Jesus, what did I do to piss the man off now?

Six months, it took Steve almost six months before he finally stopped fearing me going on missions with them. To be fair I could see why he would be so afraid, but it didn't make it any less annoying. Wanda was able to help get rid of all the horrific memories I had from my time with HYDRA, helping me see that I wasn't as bad of a person as Bucky made me out to be at first. Tony threw me into a mission the absolute first day he was allowed to. Steve was a little angry, saying I deserved a little more time to prepare, but Tony was having none of it. So here I was, on the quinjet with Nat, Bucky, Steve, and Sam. To say tensions were high, well I'd be lying if I said I felt entirely comfortable. These things weren't always going to be easy, especially being around people who weren't fond of me. But adding the man I was dating was a little harder. I didn't want him to worry about me, he needed to realize I wasn't breakable. 

“Steve, I love you, but you have to understand that I'm needed on this mission” His face was blank, but his eyes betrayed how he was truly feeling.  
“It feels wrong, okay? I don't know what HYDRA did to you, but I can't have them getting their hands on you again” Steve sighed and plopped down in the chair by our table.  
“They won't, I'm gonna have you and Bucky by my side the entire time” I ran a hand through his hand gently, smiling as he relaxed beneath my hands.  
“You just said you loved me” Steve lifted his head slowly, his eyes locking with my own. Shit, he was right.  
“And I meant it” Gripping onto the blonde strands lightly, I couldn't help but giggle at the strangled gasp that left his throat. Serves him right.

We stood outside of the base for a few moments, gathering our wits and thinking of every possible solution before heading inside. Tony was keeping an eye on things from back home, but Steve was still apprehensive. The air was too still, like it was anticipating something to happen. Nat held her gun closer, her eyes narrowing.

“I'm sensing almost fifty, they could be decoys though” Tony's voice rang throughout the earpiece.   
“They don't have decoys Tony, be realistic here” Steve's voice was harsh, too abrasive for his demeanor.  
“I am being realistic capsicle, you have to listen to me” Tony was getting agitated, a sigh echoing quietly.  
“We have to go in before it gets dark guys” Sam spoke up first, heading up into the sky and leaving everyone else behind.  
“He's right” I shrugged and headed down the hill slowly, keeping my ears open for any sound of a camera. Even though HYDRA knew we were here, their cameras were loud as hell.

Steve stayed close behind without being too close. The closer we stood to one another, the easier it would be to take any of us out. Bucky was the last one to walk down, his lips pulled back over his teeth in a snarl. He had more memories from HYDRA than I did, and I was sure this brought back more of the painful ones. Gunfire ripped between us, nearly hitting Nat and myself. Get inside, get the information you need, and get the fuck out of there. Those were the only words Tony spoke to me before we had all left. And now they were running through my head like a mantra. My heart pounding roughly against my ribcage. I didn't want to die yet, there was so much more I wanted to do in life. And getting killed by the very agents who took my life away from me the first time wasn't the way I planned to go.

Steve and Bucky headed farther down once we were inside, getting rid of any agents who stood in their way. Nat and I headed to the main office where all of the files were. Some people just never learned it seemed. Tony had been able to hack into their database while we exterminated the rats. Everything was wiped clean, it made me feel uneasy. This seemed too easy, especially for people who did everything they could to stay hidden.

“Everyone back to the quinjet, we're leaving” Steve didn't leave any room for discussion. It was a direct order.  
“Yes sir” Everyone began to retreat without another word. 

Sam was already waiting for us, ready to head back home. His smile never faltered from the moment we took off, to the moment we landed back at the compound. Steve didn't bother to wait for anyone, instead storming off of the quinjet and heading inside. I glanced over to Bucky to see if he noticed a change, his expression was darker. Hate was burning in his eyes as he looked over at me. Jesus, what did I do to piss the man off now?

I mumbled a quick goodnight to Nat and Sam before heading to find Steve. If something was truly bothering him, he would tell me. It had become a tradition between us. We didn't keep secrets from one another. I had opened up to him as much as I could, telling him stories of my parents. He loved the little things we did together before I was taken. And when I ran out of stories of my own, Steve began to tell me of his life before Captain America. How he was just a scrawny kid from Brooklyn. Bucky was his only true friend, and the day he found out he was leaving, Steve followed close behind.

They had tested out the serum on him, and that was how he became the Captain. He was terrified at first, but he didn't want anyone to know how he felt. He needed to appear strong like an ox, but deep down inside he was that scared kid still. It was where he fell in love, only for his feelings to never be reciprocated. He needed someone to be there for him through everything, and then he lost Bucky. The only person who truly understood him was ripped from his hands. And then he woke up seventy years later confused and upset.

“Steve? Do you want to talk?” I stood in the doorway, ready to head down to my own room if Steve wanted nothing more than to sleep alone.   
“Tony found something, when he was hacking into the base tonight” Steve pulled off his vest with a groan.  
“What do you mean found something? There were thousands of files Steve” I walked closer and began to gently untie his gun holster. He had taken a few rough hits, and even with the serum, it didn't keep away the pain for long.  
“They were yours, he extracted them. He fucking took them here so he could see what they did to you” He hissed, pulling his jacket up and off his body. His back littered with black bruises. A single gunshot wound on his shoulder.  
“We don't need to look at them Steve, Tony wouldn't put either of us through something like that” Maybe I was only speaking for myself, Tony would feel the need to show Steve how fucked up HYDRA truly were.

Steve was silent for a few moments, his hands gripping onto the rough material of his jacket. His eyes didn't waver from his hands. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Steve would read any file, watch any of the videos. He would see the torture I was put through. Watch eat cut into my skin, the blood dripping off my thighs. The screams of pain and anguish echoing each and every time. The guards never stopped when they were told. They wanted to make me pay for being who I was. Even if I didn't remember who I was. It wasn't until I killed three guards that I was taken off that goddamn table.

“I saw Buck's, I have nightmares about his screaming” Steve clenched his jaw tight, I wasn't surprised he had found Bucky's files. They were close friends, it was bound to happen sooner or later.  
“You don't need mine on your conscious Steve, they're worse. You can only break a man so much before he crumbles, they had different methods when it came to me” Steve knew what I was saying without needing anymore words. The physical scars had healed long ago, the mental scars would remain forever.  
“If he asks me, I'm not going to say no Y/N” Steve looked at me over his shoulder, I couldn't help but sigh. Of course he was going to watch the videos. There was no getting through to him when he was worked up.  
“Just promise you won't think any less of me” The lump in my throat seemed to grow by the second, tears brimming my eyes.  
“Never will” He threw his jacket down before heading into the bathroom, most likely to assess how bad the damage was this time.

Moving over to the dresser Steve had let me use for my own clothes, I pulled out a comfy pair of pajamas before stripping down. A soft gasp alerted me that Steve was back in the room before I was able to get dressed in the pajamas. Deciding to be a little more bold, I grabbed one of Steve's shirts and pulled it over. It landed just above my knees, and it smelled so much like him. Except the warmth from his body wasn't there. He was here though, watching me from the doorway of the bathroom. And if I said it didn't turn me on the way he would watch me, I'd be lying through my teeth.

“It's getting late, and we've been going non stop lately” Steve was the first to speak up, he knew how much I loved my sleep.  
“Are you going to join me Captain?” I smirked and crawled into the bed, pulling the sheet over my body as I did. Steve's eyes were dark.  
“Goddamn, you're killing me Y/N” He walked over and kicked off his pants, leaving his body bare save for his boxers.  
“It's what I do best” I beckoned him over with my finger and giggled as he crawled onto the bed.  
“Tomorrow we're gonna spend the entire day in bed, no training, no dealing with Tony bitching about Bucky or Sam, just you and I” His words were muffled by the bed as he laid face down before wrapping his arms tightly around my waist.  
“Yes sir” I giggled and cuddled into his chest, it was time to enjoy my night.

Waking up in the morning was different than I had expected. Steve wasn't in bed like he had promised. No, he was downstairs with Tony and Bucky. Looking over the files I was dreading. Tony had replayed the same part five times, his eyes wide with horror.

“How can some people be so heartless? She didn't have information to give them, she was just a girl from Boston” Tony turned off the screen, the scream echoing from the screen being silenced.  
“They do it to get what they want, they needed to build up her tolerance. She was going to become a killing machine. But something inside her snapped, and they left her on the ice” Bucky was frowning, his brows furrowed.  
“She woke up though, was it because we were there?” Steve turned to face Bucky, confusion written all over his features.  
“Most likely, they didn't see her as an asset anymore, and decided to just leave her behind in the hopes she'd never wake up again” Was that really true? Since I couldn't become a killing machine I was simply tossed aside?

Steve shook his head and began to look through the files in front of him, lingering on other parts more than others. His expression ranges from shock, to horror, to seething anger. 

“Patient has become non compliant, tasers have been issued to help persuade” Tony's voice trails off before he finishes the sentence. But I remembered. Those tasers were ingrained into every fiber of my being.  
“Please don't read anymore” Steve pushes away the tablet, running his hands over his face to help rid the words.  
“I'm gonna go workout for a few” Bucky stood from the table and left the room without another word.

I knew I should've comforted Steve, to tell him that even though I was tortured for years, that I was alright. But I needed more answers, and the only person who could give me those answers was Bucky. So, even if I had to interrupt his workout, then so be it. 

Bucky was boxing when I arrived, he hadn't seemed to notice my presence at first. And if he had, then he did a damn good job of not showing it. He threw punch, after punch. Sweat dripping down his back slowly. He grunted before throwing a rather hard punch with his left hand, the bag teetering before settling once again.

“He deserves better than you. You were ruined by those assholes, and he doesn't need someone like that in his life” Bucky turned to glare at me, his shoulders a tense line.  
“Steve made his choice, and I made my own. You don't have to like me, and I sure as hell don't have to like you. But I need answers” I stepped closer to him slowly, the man could be lethal if pushed too far.  
“They took you because your parents worked for SHIELD, they assumed you had trained, had information that would be useful to them. But when they found out you were just an innocent kid it was too late, you were already changed. And lookit you now, you're going on missions with Captain fucking America all because Tony begged us to take you. He's been watching those tapes since last night, he saw everything they did to you” Bucky straightened himself out, but his eyes stayed full of rage.  
“Do you think I asked for any of this? I begged for them to kill me years Bucky, I wanted to die. Death was better than what they did to me, you don't think I feel horrible that Steve had to find out this way?” I clenched my hands into fists and glared at him. I wanted nothing more than to smack the hell out of him.  
“They don't get rid of their play things that easily you stupid girl” Bucky spat the words, his own hands clenched into fists, his knuckles white.

Before I could realize what I had done, my hand had made rough contact with his cheek, a dark hand print left behind. He looked at the mat, before his gaze slowly trailed back up to my face. There was a deep fire in his eyes, the rage of a thousand fiery suns. I stepped backwards slowly, my heart thundering in my chest. Had I just triggered the Winter Soldier? Steve wouldn't be able to get to me in time if Bucky wanted to kill me, the man was a killing machine.

“You fucking cunt!” He lunged, wrapping both hands around my throat in a vice grip. 

I gripped onto each wrist, trying to reach either foot up to kick his stomach. His hands only tightened more, he was so close I could hear the plates in his arm shift. The last thing I heard was the sound of my name, panicked.

There was a faint beeping that seemed to increase in volume the more I became aware of my surroundings. An IV was wedged into my arm. That wasn't doing anything for me, the serum probably healed me before I even had time to hit the ground.

“She's awake” That was Tony's voice, I would remember it anywhere.  
“Y/N, I'm so sorry” Steve was holding onto my hand, his skin seemed so much hotter than usual.  
“What the hell happened?” Holy shit my voice sounded rough, like I gargled glass and then drank a ton of salt water on top of it.  
“You and Buck got into an argument, and you slapped him. He didn't like that very much” Tony was trying to be sarcastic, but I knew he had a strained relationship with the man. Considering everything, I didn't really blame him.  
“He was saying that I was useless, that Steve deserved better” I knew Steve had heard everything, FRIDAY recorded all of our sparring sessions so we could learn from them, so the gym was covered in cameras.  
“He's been on lockdown for a few days, and for the record I'm not going anywhere” Steve kissed the back of my hand gently, a frown on his face.

I could only smile and chuckle softly, I knew Steve would be upset with his friend. They were closer than him and I had been when I first arrived, but with the situation at hand. Well, Steve had every right to be pissed off at Bucky for almost killing me. I was the one who should've been upset with how he talked. We had been through the same situation, and yet he acted as if I came out unscathed simply because I didn't go through as many kills.

“Thank you” I gently placed my hand on his cheek and giggled at the stubble, he must've slept in a chair by my bed the entire time.  
“I haven't had time to shave, sorry” He covered his face with his opposite hand, as if it bothered me.  
“No, I find it kind of sexy” I blushed and laced my fingers with his own.  
“Maybe I'll keep it” Steve smiled and rubbed his fingers along my arm gently.  
“As long as it's on you, I'll love anything” Scratch that, I'm sure there were some things that wouldn't be as attractive.  
“I love you” Steve turned his head and kissed the inside of my palm.  
“I love you too Steve” Bucky couldn't take this away from me.

He would just have to be jealous that his friend was happy. Even if I was part of the same organization as him. We could all learn to grown from it and be happy in the long run. No sense in holding onto something negative. Not as long as I had Steve by my side.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don't know! FRIDAY said the cameras were tampered with, he's just gone” Tony had a far off look on his face then, as if he was realizing something neither Steve or I did.

He escaped when Steve was sleeping, slipping from the compound without another word, or a single sound. Tony found his room empty the morning after, running to Steve's room immediately, coming upon a sight that I doubt he was expecting to see. To be fair, he should've had FRIDAY warn us he was coming, that way we wouldn't of been so tangled together. The second Steve heard the door swing open, we pulled apart. The sheet barely covered our bodies, chests rising and falling harshly.

“He's gone, Bucky left” Tony's eyes were panicked, I looked over at Steve as fear began to overtake my body.  
“What do you mean he left? His room was on complete lock down” Steve pulled on his boxers and stood up from the bed, pacing back and forth.  
“I don't know! FRIDAY said the cameras were tampered with, he's just gone” Tony had a far off look on his face then, as if he was realizing something neither Steve or I did.  
“No, don't you dare say it Tony” Steve had begun pulling on his suit, he was gearing up for a fight.  
“It's the only explanation we have Steve, they've wanted him back ever since he left” Tony pulled out his phone and dialed a number before leaving the room.

Steve had finished pulling on his jacket before turning to face me, his eyes full of worry and anger. I wanted to be able to comfort him in that moment, but how? His friend had been taken again. It felt like every time he got him back, he was taken away.

“I'm going with” I stood up holding onto the sheet, Steve shook his head. I refused to take no for an answer.  
“This is my job, I can't have you getting hurt when we're trying to get Bucky, Y/N” Steve frowned and held my cheek gently, his hands worn from years of missions.  
“You need strong people if you're gonna get passed them Steve, you can't handle this alone. And if they trigger him again, he's going to try and kill you, they will make sure of it” Steve sighed and pulled me close to his chest, his lips pressed to my temple.  
“We need to find him first, then we can leave” Steve muttered softly, the roughness of his beard scratched lightly against my cheek.  
“We'll find him, I'm sure of it” I wrapped my arms around his waist and sighed. I really hoped we could find him in time.

 

“He's in one of their buildings, but they've got such strict security that I can't see anything” Tony growled and nearly threw the tablet in his hands. He was becoming increasingly stressed trying to find Bucky. 

We had found the building where they had him, it was just getting inside and getting to him safely that was hurting us. There were hundreds of people inside. Guards upon guards keeping him locked away. Tony had somehow managed to hack into the database to see the view from their cameras. The sight wasn't pretty. Bucky was strapped to a chair, tubes sticking out of his right arm, and wires sticking out of his head. They would shock him every few minutes after asking a series of questions.

“They're trying to trigger the Winter Soldier again, but he's fighting tooth and nail not to let that happen” Tony pulled the tablet closer to his face, squinting as he tried to see better at the screen. Something had caught his attention.  
“There's an opening, just big enough for one of us to fit” Steve zoomed in on the small section of the screen slowly. The area wouldn't fit Steve or Tony at all. It would be able to fit me.  
“I can do it, they wouldn't even hear me climbing through, and it's in a blind spot if the cameras are kept away long enough” Steve opened his mouth to object, but Tony cut him off before he could.  
“We need to do this Cap, it's our best shot at getting him out of there” Tony raised a brow as Steve glared at him. The tension was palpable, these two were such idiots at times.  
“We have an opening in five minutes, I'm already geared up to go. So stop measuring dicks and let's go so we can get him” I pushed myself up and walked over to Steve.

This was his best friend, he needed to understand that I was going to do everything in my power to save Bucky. Steve kissed my cheek and looked over to the doors. It was now or never. We're gonna save you Buck, I promise.

 

“Guys, they're keeping a closer eye on him. Be careful when you come down” I pushed through the narrow opening and climbed down onto the floor, Bucky was panting harshly. His chest and shoulders covered in a light sheen of sweat. 

They were overworking his body to get control again. His right palm was bleeding, had he been digging his nails in hard enough to do that? I placed the small tracking device on the wall and turned it on. Tony would be able to find Bucky without any trouble now. Getting the guards out of the way long enough to actually get to him though, that was the hard part in our case.

“We're heading inside now, try not to move from where you are” Steve's voice rang through the earpiece I had in. I only nodded, even if he couldn't see me, I was sure he'd know I heard him.  
“Mr. Barnes, it's so wonderful to see you again” A doctor walked into the room with a clipboard in hand, a smirk on his lips.  
“It's not gonna work, you're wasting your time” Bucky spit at the man, blood dribbling down his bottom lip and chin.  
“I thought you'd be better than this, I had so much hope” The doctor wiped off his cheek and turned to face one of the guards, lifting his chin in the slightest.

An electric shock went through Bucky's body as he screamed in agony, his body pulling off of the chair as he pulled against his restraints. He was bound too tightly though, they were ensuring he'd never be able to escape. They shut off the machine after a few minutes, his body slumping back against the chair. His eyes were clenched shut tight, a tear slipping down his cheek, mixing with the sweat on his neck. They were going to break him, he was getting too weark.

“Sir! There's been a breach entry!” A guard ran through the doors, holding his gun close to his chest, if he were to turn to the right even in the slightest he would see me.  
“What wing?” The doctor turned to face the guard, his face keeping the same calm composure he had while he watched Bucky scream.  
“West wing, and east wing. We don't know how they got inside” The doctor's expression suddenly darkened, his eyes flicking back to Bucky for only a second before storming over to the guard.  
“Keep an eye on him, make sure no one gets in this room” The guard simply nodded before the doctor ran from the room.

It was quiet, save for Bucky's labored breathing in the center of the room. He had slumped over on himself, the most he could given the circumstances at least. The guards relaxed in their positions, before each one of them suddenly hit the ground. Bucky smirked softly to himself, flexing the fingers on his left arm. The metal shined gently in the dim lightly before he yanked it from the restraint. He untied his right arm quickly.

“Took you guys long enough” Bucky glanced over to where I was huddled, his eyes hiding his emotions like a mask.  
“There's a lot of people here Buck, Steve wanted to make sure we could get you out safely before we tried to even get inside” I stood up and took my gun from the holster on my thigh. Bucky stretched his back and winced as he pulled every tube, and wire from his body.  
“Who else came with?” He turned to face me with an eyebrow raised, did he think Steve and I would come alone?  
“Tony, Steve, and myself” I walked over to him to ensure there were no other wounds that would need any attention. Bucky scoffed and pushed me away. I righted myself before almost tripping over one of the bodies on the floor.  
“Let's just go” Bucky took one of the guns from the guards and walked over to the door, kicking it open loudly. So much for stealth.

Bucky led the way back to the roof, I managed to radio in to both Steve and Tony and let them know I had Bucky, and that he was alright. A little bruised and bloody, but alright nonetheless. Steve sighed softly in my ear out of pure relief. Tony erased the files he could before destroying the computers, telling everyone to head up to the roof. I sure as hell didn't need to be told twice, being in a place that could trigger the Winter Soldier was somewhere I didn't want to be at all.

“I never thought I'd see the day you came back Miss Y/L/N” The voice sent shivers down my spine, I turned to look over my shoulder at the man. It was the doctor who had strapped me to a table when I was barely twenty years old.  
“You bastard” I turned away from Bucky to face the man entirely, he smiled.  
“You remember me, I'm surprised” He chuckled and held his gun tighter, his skin looked greasy, as if he had just been rolling around in oil.  
“How could I forget the man who tried to turn me into a mindless robot? You tried to ruin every part of me” My chest ached at the memories, Bucky had gripped onto my shoulder with his right hand, afraid of using his left arm at all.  
“You were going to be our greatest weapon, but you refused to let us in. So we moved on” He looked up at Bucky, a sparkle in his eyes.

I reached my gun up and fired twice, his body hit the ground with a loud thunk! Bucky knew that I wouldn't be able to move on my own accord, resulting in his left hand gripping my arm roughly before pulling us onto the roof. The quinjet set down for only four minutes, long enough for the four of us to board before we were gone. The buildings explosion nearly knocked us over, the quinjet steadied out after a few seconds. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky in a tight hug, muttering how he was afraid to lose him again. It was hard to watch, to hear how scared Steve really was. HDRYA really weren't going to stop until Bucky was permanently in their possession.

“We can take him to Wakanda, Shuri's worked her magic before” Tony was the only one speaking, Steve refused to look away from Bucky.  
“Would it work though? It's been going on for years Tony” He was worried for his friend, for the damage caused after so long.  
“She's more technologically advanced than I am Steve, I'm sure she'd know what to do” Tony turned his back to the blonde and called someone. Speaking in hushed whispers quickly. Even with the serum enhancing everything I couldn't hear him.

Steve patted Bucky's knee gently before standing up and heading over to the front of the quinjet, watching the clouds pass by in little puffs of white. It would've been mesmerizing, had it not been for what we had all just gone through. The horrors of the world were beginning to cave in on us, and there wasn't much we could do except for fight back.

“Change of plans, we're not going back to the compound” Tony's eyes landed on Bucky who looked worse for wear. He was exhausted and I was sure he wanted nothing more than to sleep.  
“They're offering to help us after all?” Steve turned to face Tony, fear washing over his features.  
“Shuri insisted on helping, said she hasn't had a challenge like this one in a long time” Tony chuckled and sat down near the cockpit, his eyes flicking between Bucky and Steve.  
“If she can really help him get rid of all those memories, then it's worth a shot” Steve walked back over to the seat across from Bucky and sat down. Bucky on the other hand hadn't spoken a word since we had boarded.  
“Let's hope this all works out” Bucky looked up at Steve with a small smile. 

The quinjet landed in Wakanda sooner than we had expected, Bucky was suddenly terrified of being here. I was sure it had to do with the fact that he was about to have his brain picked at until it was clear of everything HYDRA did to him. Tony and Steve walked over to a man, a handsome one at that. He seemed to be the person in charge.

“Y/N, this it T'Challa, T'Challa this is Y/N” Steve wrapped an arm around my waist with a proud smile. Why did I recognize that name so much?  
“It's a pleasure to meet you, please come inside” T'Challa turned and walked inside of the large building behind himself. This must be where they needed to take Bucky.

The inside was even more beautiful than the outside. There were guards standing at every corner, but with the security they had, I was surprised they even needed it. I guess it was better to be truly safe than sorry, no matter what it took.

“Shuri, our guests have arrives” T'Challa referenced to a young girl, she couldn't of been any older than sixteen at the oldest. Was she the person who was going to help Bucky?  
“It's about time brother, I was beginning to think you had forgotten” She laughed and gestured over to the table for Bucky to lie down.

He was apprehensive at first, eyeing the table with absolute disdain. It reminded me of the same table I had been strapped too at every HYDRA base, Bucky was most likely thinking the same exact thing. He sighed and took off his vest before laying down on the table, the plates in his metal arm began to grind roughly together. Shuri raised a brow, that was something new.

“To do this, he'll have to go into cryo” She talked softly, her eyes glancing over to her brother. Bucky's heart rate skyrocketed at the mention of cryo.  
“Are you positive? Cryo brings up bad memories for him” Steve stepped forward, his shoulders slumping in the slightest.  
“If I want to do my job properly, yes” Shuri looked up at Steve with a sad smile, she had to of known how close they were.  
“Do you think you can handle it Buck?” Steve asked looking down at the man who was clenching his hands into tight fists.  
“If it helps, I'm willing to go under” Bucky nodded and sat up, running his right hand through his hair.

Shuri headed off to another lab, preparing for Bucky to go into cryo once again. Tony headed off with T'Challa to discuss matters further. I walked over to the large windows to give Steve and Bucky their privacy to say goodbye to one another. It was killing each of them inside to leave again. Bucky wanted to do this though, to make sure he would never lose control. Steve just wanted the best for his friend. And right now he was in good hands, the best hands actually. They would make sure his mind was free and clear, and he could be able to return to the compound once he felt comfortable. Steve would have his best friend back for good after that.

“Y/N, Bucky's asking for you” Steve asked softly behind me, I turned to face each of them, Bucky was smiling sheepishly.  
“Yes, Sargent Barnes?” I asked with a smile of my own, Bucky's cheeks turned a deep red.  
“I wanted to apologize, for being such an asshole this whole time. I can see now that you and Steve are practically perfect for one another, and if he asks you something before I come out of cry, you have my blessings” It was my turn to blush, did he just give us his blessings if we were to get married?   
“Thank you, it means a lot Bucky” I wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug and felt a few tears slip down my cheeks.  
“Make sure he doesn't worry about me too much while I'm asleep” Bucky ran his right hand through my hair gently, holding me against his chest.  
“No promises there Buck, he can be pretty stubborn” Bucky and I both laughed, it was true.

I patted his chest and left them to properly say goodbye, no one to ruin a good moment for either of them. Steve would have his friend back soon enough, and we would all be happy together once again. Steve didn't come out for almost two hours once Bucky was in the pod, Shuri was going to wait until they were both ready to begin removing every horrid memory of HYDRA for him. Tony had ushered me to the quinjet, telling me that Steve would join us once he was ready.

Relaxing in the chair in the cockpit, I almost fell asleep before Steve boarded the quinjet. His eyes were red and puffy, but neither Tony or I paid too much attention to his state. He had every right to be upset, he had lost Bucky. We would just hope this time wouldn't be as long as last time. Steve couldn't go another seventy years without Bucky by his side.

“He's in good hands, they'll have him smiling and laughing in no time” I said softly, tracing the lines of his palm.  
“He needed this, to get over what they did to him” Steve yawned and rested his head against my shoulder. We were due back at the compound in less than twenty minutes.  
“I know darling” I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed his palm gently, reveling in the soft chuckle he let out.  
“Won't have it any other way” Steve kissed my cheek and relaxed in his seat.

I looked out the window and smiled at the clouds, even with the hell and nightmarish things I was put through. I wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
